25 of 50: The Picture Playhouse (Bexhill-on-Sea, East Sussex)

The newest ‘spoons in the UK

It’s the bank holiday Monday, it’s actually a hot day.  Gamma is staying with us until his new flat is ready in a few weeks time.  It is also the last day of my holiday, so of course we need to make the most of it.

Originally I didn’t want to go to far away from home, but none of my ideas of places to go were well received, and then the Brain-wave, lets visit the newest ‘spoons in the UK.

We typed in the post code into the sat-nav, and all four of us (me, the wife, gamma and delta) left the house.  Gretta was saying that we have traffic delays of 66mins, my guess was she wanted to go via Rye.  A little way into the trip Doris offered an alternative route with only a 1 minute delay (via Tenterden), this was the way I wanted to go anyway.

I must have switched on the ‘idiot’ magnet by mistake as every slow car in front seemed to let in an even slower one.  I was following a slow van and a slow car, and then the car in front pulled over, without warning or reason and I thought, ‘my lucky day’, so I over took him, only to look in my mirror and see a police car with its sirens going.  Oops! Luckily he was not coming for me, and I let him go past me.  It did give me a chance to jump the white van (he has pulled over for the police, but I followed the police car and overtook him), and with a smug grin I carried on.

In St. Michaels we needed to stop for fuel,  I had been in a good mood up to this point and even peoples slow driving didn’t make me angry, but after filling up we go into the shop where two girls were trying to by cigarettes, but their card was not working.  What to do?  The guy serving thought it would be a good idea to try another 100 bloody times, and finally suggested they leave and use a cash machine.  After them a smaller girl buying enough water to hydrate the Sahara, but paying with enough small chance to weigh down a large camel.  I could feel the heat rising, and it was not the outside temperature.  I returned to the car, after a simple, quick payment, and carried on with the trip. 

After a time we finally arrived at Bexhill-on-Sea.  We drove passed the turning for the pub and headed for the sea front.  I figured we could take a leisurely walk back into the town.  As it was Bank Holiday and as it was very hot, the sea front was very busy.  I finally found a space down a side road but must have been nearly a mile away from the main town.

We arrived at the pub, and from the outside it looked like the best building in the street, of course the old lady outside having a cigarette lowered the tone somewhat.  We found a table near the entrance and then the wife and I went to the bar to order food.  The pub is actually really nice, and for me a new experience was having a new carpet that is in really good condition.

We sat at table 88, which I would advise you to avoid at all costs, as behind us is the collection of condiments, so we had a gaggle of strangers pushing behind the chair to get to them.  

From the website I knew they had an upstairs area, and of course the toilets were upstairs, so we went that way on the way out.  It is really nice up here, and the toilets were very nice and clean.  It is strange that from the gents there is clear glass where you can overlook the tables.

We went back to the sea front.  On the way there, outside of one of shops, was an old freezer (the type that you sell ice cream from), with a sign saying "free" (or words to that effect), delta was trying his hardest to move the damn thing, which a few bystanders found amusing.  It did make us all think of ice cream, so when we got to the sea front I bought everyone some (it was Kelly's of Cornwall), we had not tried this before and we were all very impressed.

We sat on the beech for a while.  gamma wandered off (mainly to take note of the brand of ice cream for future reference), and when he returned he had bought himself another double cone and seemed very pleased with himself.

After a while we decided to leave, there was no parking charge or time limit, which was nice for a change.  

So, that was it, I have reached the half way point of my challenge, and have visited the newest 'spoons in the UK.  Until tomorrow when the new one in Ramsgate opens...

The Thomas Ingoldsby (Canterbury, Kent)

The Canterbury Tales & The First Pint

We had not planned to do a spoons today.  As you know we recently went to see Kinky Boots, we offered to take gamma and gamma-p to see a show.  They wanted to see ‘the play that goes wrong’, but we left it too late.

Plan B was to visit the Canterbury tales.  I had never been before.  On the day gamma-p was not feeling well, so that left the these of us, gamma, the wife and I.  We walked into town from gammas flat, and headed straight to the tales.

There was no queue (perhaps this was a sign?), we payed for the 12:30 slot and waited for a short while in the nice garden area around the back.  This area is good if you have young children, but gamma is too old to enjoy it.

I don’t want to spoil the tales for anyone, but for me it was pretty rubbish, the wife and gamma scored it 6 of out ten, for me it scrapped a 4, and that was only for using innuendo and out dated terms such as ‘nancy’ (I wondered what word the Danish tourist translation would have substituted for this).

Outside the tales is a Fish and chip shop, and given that our last trip to Canterbury did not have fish and chips we decided today was the day, for me this was one of the best bits of the trip and the food was very good.

Gamma needed to get a prescription (we pondered if there is such a thing as postscription), then I felt the need for a drink

The wife suggested to gamma that he might want to buy me a pint of beer.  This has been suggested since his 18th birthday and today it was delivered, (better late than never), of course we went to a spoons.

I got a normal glass for my 1664, but the guy next to us was given the new ‘Nancy’ glass.

Thank you gamma for my beer!

On leaving the pub we heard an old lady turn the corner and shout with, in my view, too much excitement, "oh good, a wetherspoons", It makes me wonder if I have chosen the right topic for my blog as this place seems to be a magnet for loud and annoying people.

Gamma and gamma-p are moving out on Sunday, and will come back home for a short while, we are really looking forward to it.

The County Hotel (Ashford, Kent)

Two People, Midday Drinks and Dessert!

Last week I went to Germany for the company, then I went to Worcester with my dad.  So the wife had been missing me and wanted to spend some time with me.  I am off work this week.

Given that I have driven so much, I really didn’t want to drive anywhere, or even go in the car as a passenger.  So we decided to walk into town as I wanted to buy a few t-shirts.

As you walk into town from our house you need to walk past the County Hotel, or you could go in for a quick drink.  It was not too busy and we sat next to a small group of, let’s call them retired people.  We assumed it would be a nice quiet meal.

If you go to the pub on a Friday night it is often loud with a lot of swearing and innuendo.  You don’t expect to find this at dinner time with a group of old(er) people.  We overheard them talking about gang-bangs and creative things you can do with mastic.  I know all about Rogers health problems, and just some of the things you can do with a large steak (other than eat it).  It did make me wonder if this is what we sound like when we go out with r&t?  Frankly it (nearly) put my off my food!

When you are working most days you so forget that life goes on for other people, every day people going into town, and although they were vulgar, it was good to see older people out and enjoying themselves. 

We left after two drinks and got my t-shirts.  Whilst walking around we got a txt from delta-ff to task it it was ok for a group of friends to come around, so we said “yes” and decided not to rush home.  With little else to do we had to walk back passed the County, or maybe we could go in?

We had two more beers and pudding.  I think it is the first time I have ever had pudding here, but it won’t be the last.

We left, slightly tipsy, and made the long, not straight, walk home.

24 of 50: The Foley Arms Hotel (Malvern, Worcestershire)

Bucket list (The Morgan Car Factory).  

It has become a tradition that for Father's Day and Christmas I give my dad the same gift, 'a day of my time'. In recent years we have visited HMS Belfast, Bodiam Castle on the Tenterden train, Dover castle and Bletchley Park.

My dad rang me a few week ago and says to me, "Son, I don't have a bucket list, but if I did, I would like to visit the Morgan car factory", so I said "let's do it". Dad has read the blog, and by chance (and the fact he was looking for something cheap), found a spoons just 1.6 miles down the road.  The good news for me is that I get to do another blog entry and my first hotel.

We left on Sunday at 3 for the long(ish) journey. Only a few days ago I drove to Andernach in Germany (for my work), so this should be easy...

From Ashford to Malvern is not a simple trip, my car sat nav (Doris when she is nice, Gretta when she is not), told me that I would experience a delay of +55 mins, what I didn't expect was that I would hit that delay when getting to Maidstone (Just 20 miles into the journey).  The traffic stopped and Doris suggested an alternative route.  The traffic was stop, start and very frustrating.  At the top of the hill a mini-roundabout goes into a single lane.  Due to the frustration 2 lanes formed and tried to force themselves into one.  My poor Dad nearly had a heart attack as a black van decided that it had right of way (for once I was in the right), and we both tried to occupy the same space.   When my door mirror started to make a dent on his van, and Dad looked upset, I decided to back off.  The van may have got in front of me and my pride might have a minor dent, but his van has a bloody great dent down the side and my car is unharmed.    The journey was pretty crap until we finally got to the M26 (via the very blocked A roads), the rest of the journey was interesting as Gretta decided that a simple motorway route would be no fun and took us for many detours.  It rained hard, very hard, but finally we got to the hotel at 7:30.  

There is no parking at this hotel (in case you want to visit),  Dad forgot to bring a coat, so I dropped him off at the hotel and drove to find parking, after finding one really nearby and finding it does not allow long stay, I then looked for another, and another, and finally found Victoria Road almost half a mile away.  I parked up and make the walk in the rain uphill.  By the time I got back Dad was a bit worried (I had been a long time), but mainly he was miffed as he had left his phone in my car (and I did not know).  I offered to get it, but it was still raining and he didn't seem that bothered.  

So we checked in, put our stuff in the room and went to eat.  The room itself is really good. We booked a Sunday night twin room (it is strange to share a bedroom with my Dad after so many years).  The room was only £39 and worth it.  There is tea, coffee, bottled water AND biscuits, so much more than a Premier Inn.  

The pub is much like any other spoons, it was quite busy, and I ordered a simple burger for Dad.  I fancied a curry but they were out, then I tried Chilli, but no this was off too.  The young lady told me that it had been very busy the night before.  I asked if something special was on and she told me that she did a chartity book club downstairs, but was pretty sure that was not relevant.  

The food arrived, I opted for a Piri Piri chicken.  A different young lady tried to give me someone else's dinner (which actually looked better than the one I ordered).  The beer was good (I like Doombar), and Dad is generally impressed with the place.  I think it might be his first visit to a spoons.

In the room on the television is a repeat of "Have I Got News For You" on the Dave channel.  What we were not expecting was a wetherspoon related joke, the joke being that fights are normal at this type of place.

We went to bed.  After 49 years I now know where I get my snoring from.  Thanks Dad.

In the morning we had a shower, got dressed, and had the Traditional Breakfast x 2.  I don't know if it is normal in Worcestershire, but there was a man at the bar in only his dressing gown and a comedy bow tie.  I am hoping it was for charity.

We arrived at the Morgan Car factory earlier than planned.  Dad had booked the 2:30 tour, but we arrived at 8:30.   I hoped that we could change our tickets for the earlier 9:30 tour, and they had no problem with this.  This gave us time to look around the museum and watch the video.

The tour itself was presented by Colin, and he took us around the factory.  It was a little like watching F1 in that he seemed a bit obsessed by the tyres.  He knows a lot about the cars and factory and it was a very good tour, it takes around 2 hours and you are standing all the way.  It is a bit noisy in places, but that is to be expected.  

With most modern car makes you get a limited set of colour choices, Morgan will give you anything you want, as proven by a revolting lavender colour car that we saw in the production.  In the 'wood' section we were given an offcut of wood with a Morgan stamp on it, this is really exciting as it cost nothing!

At the end of the tour we made our way home with only minor traffic problems.   Doris got us home early and safely.

I would highly recommend both the hotel and the tour.  Outside the hotel there is free on street parking which you can park all day Sunday until 8:30 on a Monday morning, I found this out as we were leaving, not that there were any spaces when we arrived.

As for the blog, this is my first entry where I didn't visit with the wife.  

23 of 50: The Belle and Lion (Sheerness, Isle of Sheppey)

"It's always beach weather"

At least that is what beta says and today is no exception. I made sure I had my hat and sunglasses and my rain coat, to ensure I am ready for a trip to a British seaside town.

Today the wife and I are off to Sheerness, we wanted to go somewhere different as we have done Maidstone and Folkestone to death.  At first delta was going to come along with us, but when we said it was a longer trip he decided to stay at home and play on the computer.

The car trip was uneventful, a quick M20 to Maidstone and then up to Sheerness. We still have the Sittingbourne spoons to do, but we have been to the town recently are we're not in a rush to return.

As you go over The Sheppey Crossing bridge, the traffic slowed down, but was clear until the Tesco just outside of town.  I sometimes think that once people pass their driving test they purge the entire Highway Code from their memory, it felt like people were going out of their way to block the roadabout.

Once in town we followed the signs to the car park, it clearly stated sea side parking and then took us into the town with nowhere to park and no seafront (but a first glimpse of the spoons, my heart sank just a little), on a second pass we got into the car park.

It's probably me just ranting, but why do car parking machines want to know my entire number plate, is there really a chance of someone with the same 3 letters going to this small town on the same day as me? (Not that I would give them my ticket anyway). I put 2 hours worth in the machine and we headed off.

We decided to take a walk around the town first, so headed left.

Here I said, is the future, charity shops, boarded up shops and closed kebab shops. It must be bad when even the local pound shop was closed down. 

Some idiot in a Range Rover felt that the pavement was not for pedestrians and that the 3 second walk to the nearest space would be too far, so just parked on the path with little room or consideration for anyone else.  Maybe due to the state of the town he had lost the will to live?

With nearly nothing to do, except a sweet stall that didn't want you to touch the sweets, we headed to the pub.

It is much nicer inside than out, and it seems its popular, more people are here than in all the local cafes etc. that we went passed.   We got a table at the rear and ordered food and drink from the table. Outside there see some nice tables made out of up ended boats.

Delta got his exam results on Thursday, and is now confirmed to go to university in Exeter. This, of course, was our main topic of conversation. How will our lives be now that our last child is leaving the nest? What will we do with our time (more spoons?). So far we have managed to keep calm, but with only four weeks until he leaves I think it is going to be very emotional.

The toilets are upstairs, and we used them as we left, the wife was impressed with the bowls, and it is interesting that I also liked them and took a picture of them. Sometimes we are really on the same wavelength.

We took a walk to the beach. It was a bit windswept, but pleasant enough.

Now that we are going out more, I really should put more that 2 hours on the parking, as just as we were enjoying ourselves it was time to go.

We promised delta we would get him some pinballs from Poundland, but of course there wasn't one in town. The wife noticed a few shops just before the bridge and they had a B&M and Poundland.

We left there with a sandwich toaster (as Grandma was talking about one just the day before and delta said he would like one), and pinballs.

Not out best destination, if you had paid to get there by train and had never been before you would be pretty unhappy with your choice of destination

Maybe next time we will just go to Maidstone or Folkestone.

22 of 50: Lord Moon of the Mall (Westminster, London)

Kinky Boots! and Rain.

Today was a joint birthday present for me and delta.  The wife had already booked four tickets, and this is one of the shows that I really wanted to go and see.  Originally, the plan was for me, the wife and gamma and delta to go, we all thought it would be good to invite delta’s female friend (delta-ff) instead of gamma, and she was really keen to come. 

We looked at the weather forecast (the real one), and it had a 100% chance of rain, so we all felt that maybe it might rain.

We drove into London, this is pretty normal for me when we have more than 2 people.  We park up at Thomas Moore Square (near Tower Bridge), it’s a good price (£12 for 24 hours if you pre-book), and it’s just outside the congestion zone.  It’s a small and interesting walk along St. Katharine Docks and passing the London Tower, on to Tower Hill tube station.  I have four oyster cards, and only one needed charging.  We took the tube to Embankment and walked up to the Strand from there.

My normal process when going to a show is to find the theatre first, so a very small walk up the Strand and we could already see the signs outside the theatre.   During the small walk the wife found out that her waterproof coat was not, and that she had wet patches on both her bosoms (making it look like she had a baby milking related issue).

Now we decided to go to the Wetherspoon for brunch (or brinner as I think it should be called).  

We went to ‘Lord of the Mall’ because it was the closest.  My first photo was photo bombed by a London Bus, and the other photos are not great.  Of course, I needed a photo of the carpet, and when the flash went off on the camera I got some very strange looks (what kind of sad person takes a picture of the carpet but not any pictures of the actual interior?). 

Delta and I took the opportunity to use the toilets which were downstairs.  The wife and delta-ff managed to get us a table.  I was planning on ordering food from the table, but there was no queue so the wife offered to place our order.  There were not the usual choices, the menu was pretty limited in my view, and more expensive than home (but probably normal for London).  We decided to get three starters (for £12), and I had a beer.  The wife had wanted Onion Rings, but she was told that the pub does not do any deep fried food.  We are all a bit confused as to how they cooked the chips (oven?).   The pub itself is nice, a great piece of architecture with high ceilings and many pictures on the walls.  The toilets were designed for the shorter person.   

Time was passing, and it was time to make our way to the theatre.  We got wet again walking to the theatre.  We had pre-booked tickets, and had no problem collecting them.  We were in the circle at the back.  We were early and waited around half hour before the performance started.  What a show, this really is the best I have been to.  The songs, that acting, the guy that plays Lola was truly amazing.  The queue for the ladies at the interval was crazy, but not my problem!. 

I would recommend this show to anyone.  Delta-ff cried, it’s her first visit to a theatre show and she was so happy/excited, I am so glad we invited her along.  Delta had a huge grin on his face the entire time.

Afterwards a trip to Five Guys, I managed to start eating the wrong burger (sorry delta-ff), we ordered two lots of large fries and it really is enough for four people.   It is expensive (over £50 for all of us), but it is one of the kids favourites and it kept us out of the rain whilst we waited for the rush hour to pass.  The tube was a little crowded at 6:30, but we got out of London with no main issues.  The drive home was horrible, the rain was so bad that even I had to slow down (and I drive a BMW, so that is not in my nature).  

We dropped delta-ff off home and got home soon afterwards.  I think this is my best visit to London for a show, and I am still buzzing.  

And the pub was OK as well.